My dad, bless him, always said that nothing was more important than education. So much did he believe this that he sent us to a school on the other side of the city to ensure that we got a good one; and we most certainly did.
What the school lacked in pastoral care it made up for with hard and fast results (the fact that it somewhat faked these results by not entering pupils into exams they didn't think they would pass is another story).
As parents it is always our job to decide how much of the wisdom of the previous generation we pass onto the next and even before we knew for definite who our kids would be we had a decision to make. OFSTED results or pastoral care?
Education over emotional support?
It was the decision that my dad had to make and he chose one path. We chose the other.
Trust me when I say that applying for a school for children you don't even know you have yet is a very strange feeling. When we were asked about the kids and what they were like we couldn't answer. We hadn't even meet them yet!
Given the circumstances around the kids adoption we felt that the school we sent them to had to fulfill their pastoral needs first. Of the three we looked at one didn't answer our enquiry so was struck off the list immediately, one used words like "will not tolerate" a lot in their prospectus emphasising a lack of empathy. And the third? The third was perfect. They were absolutely speaking our language of inclusion, emotional support and a fun and varied curriculum and focussed less on test results; so we picked that one, naturally!
What the school lacked in pastoral care it made up for with hard and fast results (the fact that it somewhat faked these results by not entering pupils into exams they didn't think they would pass is another story).
As parents it is always our job to decide how much of the wisdom of the previous generation we pass onto the next and even before we knew for definite who our kids would be we had a decision to make. OFSTED results or pastoral care?
Education over emotional support?
It was the decision that my dad had to make and he chose one path. We chose the other.
Trust me when I say that applying for a school for children you don't even know you have yet is a very strange feeling. When we were asked about the kids and what they were like we couldn't answer. We hadn't even meet them yet!
Given the circumstances around the kids adoption we felt that the school we sent them to had to fulfill their pastoral needs first. Of the three we looked at one didn't answer our enquiry so was struck off the list immediately, one used words like "will not tolerate" a lot in their prospectus emphasising a lack of empathy. And the third? The third was perfect. They were absolutely speaking our language of inclusion, emotional support and a fun and varied curriculum and focussed less on test results; so we picked that one, naturally!
So, did we do the right thing?
It's a tough call. Education IS important. Just look at how many people in top jobs around the country haven't had a good or great education. For every school-dropout-come-good you can point to I can point to many thousand others who went to the best schools and the best universities; but a high percentage of children from a disrupted upbringing struggle at school both academically and behaviourally. Their chances of academic excellence are worse than their non-adopted peers.
We are extremely lucky in that Little Miss and Mister Man are both thriving at school. The behavioural issues that are so evident in adopted children at school don't appear to have manifested for (yet) for our two (touch wood).
We are extremely lucky in that Little Miss and Mister Man are both thriving at school. The behavioural issues that are so evident in adopted children at school don't appear to have manifested for (yet) for our two (touch wood).
Still, it is their emotional wellbeing that we are most concerned about. Having a school who will voluntarily get a child psychologist in to speak to the staff about attachment in the classroom and how to spot (and help) children with attachment difficulties is so positive. I doubt it would've happened with the other schools we looked at (to be fair to them we have never asked them).
We encourage them to do their best but focus our encouragement and rewards on good behaviour and take any academic excellence as a bonus.
Which is why we were so happy when Mr Man came home with a "Star of the Week" certificate stating that he was a "Role Model to his peers, and always using excellent manners".
That's my boy!
