Penny For Your Thoughts

Every now and again Little Miss gets a faraway look in her eyes and she will go very quiet. Her whole demeanour will move inwards and she will be very hard to communicate with. It's quite a shock as it can (and often does) come out of nowhere with little or no warning. It's such a change as she is normally such a happy, cheery little girl.

I wish she would talk to me and tell me what is going on inside, but I'm fairly sure she doesn't know either. It may have been something she has seen or heard that has sparked a repressed memory or simply she has thought about something and has retreated into herself.

I wish I could hold her hand and take her inside her head and hunt out those bits of memory that are causing her pain and take them away, but for better or worse they are part of her and forgetting painful memories is probably just as damaging as burying them.

As much as we would like to change it we need to be ready to discuss some very painful memories with her (Mister Man is unlikely to remember any truly painful things given his age) and deal with them in a comforting but honest way, all of this without vilifying the birth family who allowed these things to happen. The connection with the birth family and the anxiety of separation from them will only become more detrimental to her mental health if we don't deal with this properly.

So, penny for her thoughts? I'm not sure I actually want to know it will just make me angry but I will give everything I have to make those thoughts hurt her less and to fill her head with happy thoughts and happy memories so that when she goes inside her head it's not the dark but the light that she is lost in; and maybe we'll get a little smile.